The small, slow world of a newborn

A newborn baby forces us into a very small, slow world for a while. I can be shocked by this, resent it, or even feel guilty that I am failing to achieve all the really important things that I used to. In preparing to grow in this cumbersome stage of life, the first thing I need to do is embrace this smallness.

Weakness and smallness are feelings we instinctively want to flee from. But the gospel is about our weakness, smallness, failure and dependence on the big, good, merciful God. God doesn't despise smallness (Phil 2:1-11). His standard practice has always been to glorify himself through the small, weak and ordinary. This encourages me to not be shocked or resentful about the "frustrations" of the newborn stage. It also makes me optmistic about how God might display his strength in this abundance of weakness!

A lot of this hinges on the thinking that Paul spells out in 1 & 2 Corinthians. Paul's theme is summarised nicely in this passage:

"a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Any situation in my life which reminds me of this reality and leads me humbly back to strong Jesus on his weak cross is a gift. I pray that the overwhelming feelings of weakness and smallness will trigger more confidence in Jesus and wonder at his gospel.

In the middle of the smallness and slowness, I also need to remember that God designs all the details of my days to train me in Christlikeness. This is no less true in the new baby weeks. All the little activities of the day are being used by him to sanctify me. That is something to submit to and delight in. God has started a good work in me and will bring it to completion, using these very details (Phil 1:6). More than that, these small, ordinary activities are part of the good works God has saved me for (Eph 2:1-10). God isn't only at work in the timeslot when I have my Bible open.

Another truth that will prepare me to grow with my baby is that every weak, monotonous part of motherhood matters because God has made Jesus Lord of everything. All things are from him and through him and to him and for his glory (Rm 11:36). All the little features of my small world matter to God and are caught up in the greatest reality.

All this means a few particular things to me right now:

• Being happy for other people to see my weakness. Going out to meet with other Christians will be hard. This is just another reason why welcoming others into my chaos at home will be important. Even though my house will be messier than I like, people can still come over. It would be dangerous for me to put off relating until I am "coping" (in the supermum sense). Waiting until I can project the image of domestic and maternal strength won't encourage anyone else either!

• I shouldn't underestimate the encouragement that comes from talking to my kids about Jesus. Embracing weakness means seeing that Christian encouragement doesn't only come from "strong" sources. It is not only the adult Bible study that qualifies to feed me on God's word.

• I won't read too many blogs. There will be a couple I read when I get a chance (middle of the night feeds?). Otherwise my tendency is to feel overwhelmed by the brilliance of every other woman in the world and resent the circumstances that are stopping me be "fruitful" as a Christian (which goes against my earlier points about embracing smallness!).

• Being ready to accept that my weakness means some days everything will feel too hard. It is ok for there to be times where I shut the door and let the phone take messages. God is big and gracious and at work in all the hardness - despite me!

If I can keep these truths clear in my view, there will be room for rejoicing and growth where there would otherwise only be discontent and frustration.